


A Peculiar Feeling

by notmyyacht



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Permission (2017), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alcohol, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Crossover Pairings, Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Ice Skating, Light Angst, M/M, Multi, Past Relationship(s), Post-Thor: The Dark World, Post-canon for Permission, Sappy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-26 01:32:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17132498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notmyyacht/pseuds/notmyyacht
Summary: Loki just wanted a peaceful night off from being Odin. Little did he know the man who just sat down a stool away from him was going to make his night anything but peaceful.





	1. The Bar

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, the first fic on AO3 for Permission is gonna be a crack crossover fic? Amazing! Hahaha Please don't ask how I thought of this ship, I'm not sure myself. All I know is that I really enjoy writing for them. I recently saw Permission and even though I loved it (including its ending) I kinda wanted Will to have a happy ending and considering I ship Loki with too many people, naturally I guess my brain jumped right into this!
> 
> This started as a short, self-indulgent Christmas fic... but then I kept writing and here we are. I had a lot of fun writing this and even though it's such an out-there crossover ship, I hope you guys like it too! This is completely unbeta'd, so any mistakes are on me. 
> 
> Hope y'all have a safe and wonderful holiday season! <3

Loki slowly nursed a neat scotch as he sat at the end of the bar, minding his own business.

On the outside he appeared to be a lonely man, likely wealthy judging by the suit, spending his Christmas Eve drinking by himself. But Loki was not a lonely man, nor did he care for the mortal holiday. This, here, was Loki finding a spot for some peace of mind. Being his father on a daily basis was hard work and it was nice to be himself in a place he wouldn’t be recognized.

The pub itself was relatively quiet with a few scattered patrons about the place. A string of white Christmas lights lined the mirror behind the bar. Holiday music played softly, filling the otherwise quiet pub.

Loki idly glanced to the street window and spotted two men arguing just outside the establishment. They were about the same height, both with beards, though one had dark hair and the other, slightly smaller in frame, was blond. The dark-haired one was gently tugging on the blond’s arm; the blond responded by jerking back and stepping backward towards the entrance to the bar. The blond raised his arm, pointing down the street and he said something.

‘Then go,’ it looked like.

The dark-haired one threw his arms up in defeat, mouthed something that was likely a curse, then stormed off in the opposite direction. The blond looked hurt for a moment, then turned and finally entered the pub.

The show over, Loki turned his attention back to his drink. His glass was almost empty. He glanced up and made eye contact with the bartender, Craig; he gestured for another drink.

To his left, he heard the unmistakable sound of a coat being removed. Out of the corner of his eye he spotted him, the blond from earlier. He looked worse up close. His hair stuck up in several places and his clothing was rumpled.

The blond sat one stool away from Loki, unintentionally getting into his personal bubble –Loki’s personal bubble, of course, being ten feet at least.

“What can I get ya?” Craig asked the stranger.

The blond seemed to pause for a moment, as if not sure what he wanted. Loki heard him shift uncomfortably on the stool.

“I’ll have… whatever this fine gentleman is having.”

“Coming right up,” said Craig before going to the other end of the bar to make the drinks.

“What _are_ you having, by the way?”

It took a good two seconds before Loki realized the blond was addressing _him_ now. Finally, he looked up, eyes locking onto bright blue ones.

The blond man looked even worse this close, especially now that he could get a good look at him. His beard needed trimming and the dark circles under his eyes told much about his sleep patterns. There was beer on his breath and the rims of his eyes were swollen; if the small red splotches on his cheeks meant anything, it was that he’d been crying not only recently, but frequently and with gusto.

Whoever this man was, Loki wanted no part –whether in conversation or otherwise. He shot the stranger a glare that could kill.

Getting the hint, the blond sank back into his stool just in time for Craig to return.

“Neat scotch,” he stated, placing a glass in front of Loki and one in front of the blond.

“Thank you, Craig,” Loki said with a nod. Craig returned the nod and went back to the other side of the bar.

Loki warily watched the blond out of the corner of his eye.

The man eyed the drink, then brought the glass to his lips and took a big gulp. Loki raised his eyebrows. The blond winced, but swallowed. Loki held back a smirk; okay, he was amused.

“How many pubs have you been to tonight?” he asked, not looking up from his drink.

The blond’s brow furrowed in surprise.

“I…um- this is my third. My best friend and I went bar hopping and he quit after the second. Said he had enough and that I did too. But I told him the night is young, so we might as well drink the heartache away.”

“Hm.”

The blond sipped his scotch and eyed Loki.

“You ever been in love?” he asked.

Old memories threatened to resurface.

“Long time ago.”

“Didn’t end well?”

“No.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.” Loki glowered at him.

The man nodded.

“I understand.” The man laid face down on the bar, his eyes welling.

Shit. Was he going to make a scene? The thought of loud sobbing disturbing Loki’s quiet drink was hardly enticing; he swallowed his pride.

“Why, what heartache has befallen you, friend?” he said before taking a swig of his scotch.

The man raised his head and looked into the middle distance.

“The love you lost a long time ago, did you think they were the one? Because Anna, she was the one…” Loki didn’t have time to comment as the man started to go off. “Anna, she- she’s my best friend. Friends for the longest fuckin’ time, you know? We were each other’s _firsts_. First kiss, first fuck, first relationship… Nothin’ seemed right to be anything else.

“Then our friend, our friend –my friend- Reece… he’s gotta open his big drunk mouth and comment on how Anna’s never known another cock in her life. Like, who the fuck says that? Suddenly we’ve both can’t shake the idea of what it would be like to be with another person, right.”

 _What a fool,_ thought Loki, shaking his head slightly. A voice in the back of his head responded with, _You were a fool like him once. A long time ago._

The blond man downed the rest of his scotch and frowned at the sight of the empty glass.

“Let me get the next round,” said Loki, hoping that perhaps if the stupid mortal kept talking, it would keep Loki from thinking about his own past. Not to mention the entire situation being described was hilarious. Somehow it made his own life seem less complicated.

 _Mortals are so petty and know nothing about committed relationships_ , Loki thought. _One would think with shorter lives, they’d make up for it with some sense about how to live them._

“Thanks,” said the man, holding out his hand. “I’m Will, by the way.”

“Loki,” Loki replied, shaking it. Might as well be himself. That was the point of this trip to Midgard, wasn’t it?

Will didn’t react to the name. Either he was _very_ drunk or he didn’t know who Loki was. The latter bothered Loki probably more than it should.

“Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise. You were saying?”

“Right, so. Anna and I agree we’re gonna give each other permission to sleep with other people. Y’know just to see what it’s like. We’re thinking, it won’t affect our relationship, I’m still building a house for us, we’re gonna get married someday, it’s all still gonna happen…” Will paused, spacing out again as Craig puts another whiskey in front of him.

“Did it affect your relationship?” Loki prompted.

Will nodded, his eyes welling up again.

“We did it. She fucked other guys and I fucked other girls… and you know what?”

“What?”

“I _hated_ it. Not that the women I fucked weren’t beautiful, they were, I just…. Oh fuck…” Will trailed off and buried his face into the crook of his elbow on the counter.

Loki’s brow knitted as the man began to softly sob. He glanced around; no one seemed to notice.

He shouldn’t. This had already gone long enough and was losing its entertainment value. He sighed and slipped into the stool next to Will, their arms gently bumping from the movement.

“You weren’t satisfied with them. Only your Anna would do,” he whispered.

Will bolted upright, eyes wide; Loki realized he had just implied something unintentionally and it was the truth. Unsatisfied –Loki hadn’t meant it like _that_ , but by the shocked look in Will’s eyes… Oh.

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” Will cringed and looked down into his drink, looking positively miserable. A silence fell between the two.

 _Norns, he’s so pitiful. It’s painful to watch._ Loki sighed again and ran a hand through his hair. _I’m going to regret this._

“How many drinks have you had, Will?” he asked.

“S’dunno.”

“Alright.” Without warning, Loki downed the rest of his scotch, then snatched up Will’s glass and polished off the last of the amber liquid.

“Hey-” Will began to protest.

“I think you’ve had enough, Will,” said Loki, sliding off his stool. He put his coat and scarf on and continued, “Alcohol doesn’t change your misery, it just makes you care less who sees you miserable. Unfortunately for the both of us, I have, and while I on any other day I would leave you to your despair, I have nothing better to do. Come on.”

Loki grabbed Will’s coat from the vacant stool and handed it to him.

“Where we going?”

“I’m buying you a coffee.”

“Oh. Thanks.”

Loki paid his tab then placed a hand on Will’s shoulder to guide him out of the pub. If he noticed the soft glances Will kept making toward him, he didn’t let himself think too much of them.


	2. The Sidewalk

Coffees in hand, Loki and Will walked side by side down the street. Once in a while their arms would bump, but neither would remark upon it.

Will hadn’t meant to tell a stranger about his love life, or his sex life for that matter. Even if he did, Loki certainly wouldn’t have been the first person he’d pick. The man had been cold and sharp at the end of the bar. Will wasn’t sure why he had been so drawn to him. Something unearthly… unearthly? Something magical. The magic of Christmas…

Will sipped his coffee. He was too drunk to decipher his own actions. That didn’t make Loki’s change of heart any less of a mystery.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be for Christmas?” Will asked abruptly, breaking the silence between them.

“I don’t celebrate it,” Loki replied. “I was spending it by myself; tranquility at last. But now, I suppose, I’m spending it with you.”

“I had plans until Anna left me.” Will mentally kicked himself. He needed to stop talking about Anna.

“Did she fall in love with one of her conquests?” Loki asked. The odd feeling that had stewed in Will’s stomach every time he had suspected such returned.

“I don’t know… There was one guy she kept seeing. _Dane_. But I don’t know if she fell in love with him.”

“Were you at all threatened by this Dane?”

“Not really.” _Liar_. “Of course I felt jealous at times… But she was having fun. That was the point. To reach out and see what we could.”

Will cringed. God, he was so bad at this. Loki could probably see right through him. To his surprise, Loki didn’t push it.

“What happened?” he asked instead.

“I proposed.”

“During the time you were seeing other people?”

“No. Well, kinda, I think. This was last week. It just sort of stopped for both of us. And then I finished the house and I took her out to dinner and I proposed and she said yes, but then I brought her to the house to finally see it…” Will went quiet, stopping in his tracks. Loki did the same.

Will could never shake the look in Anna’s eyes the moment he had realized she didn’t want to be with him anymore. It was sad, apologetic. Will drunkly wondered if he would see that soft expression right before he died. Instead of his life flashing before his eyes, it would just be Anna’s sorry face as she killed him on the doorstep to the home they would never share together.

Tears rolled down Will’s cheeks as he leaned into Loki’s shoulder. Loki shifted slightly to lean away, clearly uncomfortable.

“Then she told me she couldn’t make a life with me,” he continued, half mumbling, “She didn’t want me… She _loved_ me, I love her… why couldn’t we work it out?” Will sobbed, wrapping his arms around Loki’s stiff frame. Loki nearly dropped his coffee cup.

A sober Will would have ceased this behavior long ago, but drunk Will didn’t care. He was hurt and dammit he was going to tell this stranger everything!

The stranger, Loki, let out a sigh of resignation. Slowly, he raised a hand and hesitantly patted Will’s back.

They stood that way for a few minutes. The longer they stayed, the more relaxed Loki became under Will’s touch.

“Foolish,” he heard Loki mutter under his breath. “Come along,” he said louder, prying Will off of him.

Will’s vision was blurred with tears and his head swam from the alcohol. He wasn’t sure when he had put his cup down – _if_ he had put it down- but it certainly was no longer in his hand. And neither was Loki’s?

“Where’d my coffee go?”

“I just set it down,” said Loki, gesturing to the stoop they were standing next to. Sure enough, there were their coffee cups. But it wasn’t the coffee that Will focused on. It was his new friend’s words, or rather, _how_ he had said those words.

Up until this point, from the moment they had met in the bar, Loki had put a wall up. It was cold and while Loki had been willing to look over it to listen to his neighbor’s woes, but had mostly kept it firmly between them. But now… something had changed.

Loki brought his hands to either side of Will’s face and raised his head to look him in the eye.

“Will of New York, listen to me. Just because you love each other,” he said, “does not mean you were meant to spend eternity together.”

“But isn’t that what love is for? To find someone to spend your life with?” Will countered.

“I don’t know.” Loki stroked his thumbs across Will’s damp, bearded cheeks. “A lifetime can be longer than you think.”

“A lifetime is long,” Will mumbled, closing his eyes. Loki’s middle and index fingers idly massaged the back of his neck. Will took a few deep breaths, his tears ceasing. He swayed slightly in Loki’s grasp and hummed.

“That… _good_ ,” he slurred. He opened his eyes to Loki watching him, a small crease between his eyebrows.  “What is it?”

Loki let his hands fall to his sides, the gears in his head turning behind his eyes.

“Why are you telling me all this?” he asked. Will’s head was too fuzzy to determine if that was curiosity or irritation that laced Loki’s tone.

“I don’t know,” Will replied, “I’m not bothering you, am I?”

Loki rolled his eyes.

“We are well past that,” he said.

The familiar lump of guilt rose in Will’s throat.

“I’m sorry. You should have told me to shut up.”

Loki rolled his eyes again, this time shaking his head.

“You are quite drunk, my friend.” He took Will by the elbow and guided him to a nearby bench. Will sat as Loki retrieved their coffee. “Here,” said Loki, sticking the cup in Will’s face.

“Thank you,” Will said, accepting the cup with a lopsided grin.

“Stay here and drink that.”

Will cocked his head to the side.

“Why? Where you goin’?”

Loki slipped his hands into his pockets and said, “I’ll be back shortly. If you want to continue to spend time with me this evening, I would prefer us to be on an even playing field… or as even as we can get.”

Will blinked. What could he possibly mean?

“What d’you mean?”

Loki pointed at the ground.

“Stay. _Here_. Do not move from this bench,” he commanded in a low voice that reverberated right through Will, making him pleasantly shiver.

He nodded dumbly and watched as Loki sauntered off and turned a corner, out of sight.

Will sat back against the bench.

“I really should’ve shut up back at the bar,” he mumbled to himself. Loki was gone. Oh. He had told Loki more than he should tell a stranger. About Anna, about his sex life… Oh god. A stranger knew secrets about his sex life! Regret boiled in his stomach; Will quickly chugged the rest of his coffee to stifle it.

Perhaps he should be grateful. Loki was just minding his own business before Will interrupted and started word vomiting about his problems. Why would Loki lend a shoulder to cry on? He didn’t seem the type who showed much physical affection with his friends, much less someone he barely knew. There was a story there, a story Will sadly would never hear.

Loki… strange, cold, and somehow sympathetic Loki. Beautiful Loki. Very beautiful.

 _I’m not gay_ , Will told himself.

…Or maybe he was?

 _“‘I don’t know who I am without you,’ that’s what you said, right?”_ Anna had reminded him that night. _“Don’t you wanna know?”_

 _Loki is very very handsome_ , Will thought.

Maybe bisexual?

This certainly wasn’t the first time Will had had thoughts about men. Before he and Anna had started dating, Will would think quite a lot. After he fell for Anna, though, well, any sexual thought of anyone other than Anna was tossed aside. At the end of it, he still identified as heterosexual.

_I do wanna know._

It was never too late to start questioning one’s sexuality. And Loki was definitely making Will question.

 _Maybe bisexual..._ Will pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger _. Maybe when I’m sober I will think about this clearer… clearily? Clarity. Clear…_

He set his empty cup down next to him and dug the heels of his palms into his eyes and groaned.

Will stood and snatched up his cup; he wobbled for a moment as he spotted a trash can not too far from the bench. He made his way over to it and dropped the cup in.

Satisfied the cup was with the rest of the trash, he nodded once and turned… Just in time to see Loki standing beside the bench.

Will startled, his breath hitching in his throat as he took Loki in. The dim city lights cast sharp shadows across the man’s face, making the angles of his cheekbones more prominent. His skin paler than the dirty snow on the sidewalk. Those eyes bore into Will, making him wonder just what had this man seen and experienced to make him such an enigma? Who was this sharp, gorgeous man before Will and where the fuck had he been all his life?

“I thought I told you to stay here,” said Loki, his voice toeing the line of danger and teasing. Will wasn’t sure which excited him more.

“Didn’t know if’ou’d come back.” Will swallowed thickly and blinked rapidly. Oh, there’s the dizziness…

A smile tugged at Loki’s lips.

“Would you like to sober up, Will?” he asked.

Will bobbed his head, the contents of his stomach churning from the movement.

“I think I’m going to be sick,” he said, forcing a smile, and then abruptly turned back to the trash bin; he gripped the edges and bent over the opening. Just before Will could expel the bile rising in his throat, he felt two strong arms grab him by the shoulders and spin him. Loki stood there, holding onto him.

_Oh no, not that nice suit…_

Loki wasted no time and covered Will’s mouth with his hand. He felt a single finger push something small and round onto his tongue.

“Swallow it,” said Loki, holding Will jaw closed.

With only the two options, Will instinctively chose the second and swallowed down whatever the hell Loki had just given him.

Within an instant, the nausea was gone and Will’s stomach settled. As did the fuzziness and feeling of imbalance. Will could sense the world around him as he usually did; his head clearer than it had ever been. He was… sober.

Loki slowly released him and took a step back.

“How do you feel, Will?”

Will gaped and looked him in the eye.

“Better,” he replied.

Then… oh. _Oh shit_.

“ _Embarrassed_ ,” he added, cringing at the memories of the past hour. He covered his reddening face with both hands. “Oh fuck… Jesus, why did I tell you all of that? Why did you let me!?”

Loki chuckled and pulled Will’s hands down by the crooks of his elbows. Will’s cheeks were painted tomato red as he blurted out, “I’m _so_ sorry!”

“Don’t apologize. If I wanted you to leave me alone, I would not have bought you a coffee, now would I?” said Loki, raising an eyebrow.

“I suppose not,” Will replied, sheepishly. The he shook his head. “I don’t understand. What did you just give me?”

“It’s a rare type of bean grown on Vanaheim. The Vanir have some of the best wine in all the Nine Realms. They’re quite famous for it actually. But with wine comes drunkenness and should an enemy suddenly declare war while your warriors are intoxicated, it’s a good idea to keep something in your garden that can make your army ready for battle within seconds.”

“You gave me a magic sobriety bean?” Will stated dully.

Loki frowned, obviously displeased that it could sound so ridiculous despite its amazing abilities.

“Yes.”

“Where are you from?”

“Asgard.”

Will’s mind raced a thousand miles an hour. Asgard… right, the Avengers, Thor… Will’s jaw dropped.

“You’re a fucking _god_.”

Loki smirked.

“I’ve been spending my Christmas Eve, getting drunk and blabbering about my love life to a god…” Will’s brow furrowed. “Why?”

Loki shrugged.

“What else am I going to do on Christmas Eve? Surely you don’t think I should spend it with my brother and his Avenger friends? I think you’d find a lot of resentment on their part.”

“Right…” This was too much. Magic beans and alien gods…

“That is, if you still wish to remain in my company for the night?” said Loki.

Will wasn’t sure what he wanted. Maybe it would have been better if he stayed drunk. At least drunk Will knew what he wanted: to spend time with his new friend.

But his new friend was dangerous. His new friend could probably kill him with his pinky finger if Will said something he didn’t like. But then again… he had blubbered to the god and _on_ the god and- _Loki_ , his name was Loki. It was still the same Loki. If Will’s miserable drunk self wasn’t enough to drive Loki to kill him, then nothing probably would. At least, Will hoped.

“I, um…” Will started. Loki looked at him, waiting for an answer.

Drunk or not, Will _did_ enjoy his company. Loki was cold, and didn’t say much about himself, but he was intelligent and could see Will’s life from an outside perspective –something he needed right now. However, more than anything, Will was interested in seeing more of Loki. Was Loki just that? Wise and distant? What else lurked beneath? He wanted to get to know him. And judging on where the night was heading, he just might.

Ease settled into his form and he finally replied, “I’d like to keep hanging out with you.”

A smile spread across Loki’s handsome face.

_Handsome? Oh no._


	3. The Rink

Central Park wasn’t nearly as crowded as one might expect on Christmas Eve. The skating rink in particular; while it had a good number of people there, its numbers were hitting that point in the night where they began to dwindle as midnight approached. Those attending midnight mass or had to get back home to their children were returning their rented skates and making their way home. Most that stayed behind were young couples, small groups of friends, and the occasional loner.

It had been days since the last snowfall, but there was still enough on the ground to consider this a white Christmas. It would be better appreciated, however, if not for the bitter cold.

Will buried his nose into his scarf and shoved his hands into his pockets as he and Loki walked through the snow-covered trees. Ever since he had sobered up, Will seemed more aware just _how_ cold it was. More than once Loki wanted to comment on how closely Will seemed to be walking beside him; the longer they walked, the more Loki could feel their arms brush against one another.

Will paused and stared out at the skating rink. Loki followed his gaze and saw it wasn’t the rink in general he was staring at, but at several of the couples skating around the ice or sitting on the benches beside the rink, sipping cocoa.

“Thinking of your Anna again?” Loki inquired.

Will’s cheeks were red –whether from blushing or because of the cold, Loki wasn’t certain.

“She’s not my Anna anymore, but… last year we went skating here. I had never been and she attempted to give me lessons. Problem was she wasn’t all that good either. We thought we’d learn together. Of course, it ended in disaster. I sprained my ankle.”

Will averted his gaze, his eyes shining again with tears.

“You did everything with this woman,” said Loki.

“Not everything…”

“Do you intend to spend the rest of your life haunted by the things you did do with her? Or…” Loki eyed the small, scattered crowd that remained. Good. He’d rather there not be so many witnesses. “Or would you like to make some new memories?”

 

Loki accepted his rental skates from the tired woman on the other side of the counter. She forced a smile.

“Have fun out there,” she said.

“Thanks!” Will replied eagerly before rushing towards the nearest empty bench. He immediately sat down and put on his skates. Loki sat beside him and followed suit, all the while he watched his companion out of the corner of his eye.

To say Will’s spirits had lifted would be an understatement.

 _Perhaps this was a mistake_ , Loki thought with a small smile. _Shouldn’t get this ridiculous man too excited. He might wish to make spending time with me a regularity._

Loki paused halfway through tying his second skate.

And why should he? Will was nothing special. Just another mortal who had his heart broken. Most living things do at least once. Even Loki. Ah, and there it was, wasn’t it? One of the reasons why he had been entertaining his time with Will in the first place. Funny how even though it was what drove Loki to buy the blubbering mortal a coffee, by the time they had left the café, _she_ had been long gone from Loki’s thoughts.

He shook his head ever so slightly and continued tying is laces. Finished, he stood, finding his footing rather easily. Will, on the other hand, was not as confident in his skates. He staggered and gripped the bench arm rest, his knuckles white as his face. All eagerness and joy seemed to have drained from him the moment the skates were on.

“You going to be alright?” Loki said.

“Yeah, of course…” Will let go of the bench, wobbled, then grabbed hold of it again. “Nope.”

“Too late to turn back now,” said Loki as he began to move away from the bench.

 “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea- Loki wait!” Will reached out a hand. Loki smirked and continued moving toward the ice.

“If you can’t walk on the skates, then there’s no hope for you on the ice,” he said, his smirk widening into a grin.

Will frowned.

“Are you- Are you enjoying this?”

“Such a tone of surprise.” Loki reached the edge of the rink and waited.

Will eyed the space between him and the rink. It couldn’t be more than a few feet, but with the skates and the added pressure of Loki grinning at his misery, it seemed a mile away.

“I thought you wanted to make new memories,” Loki teased. Will glared at him, which only made Loki grin wider.

“I do, I just…fine.” Will sucked in a deep breath and slowly released his grip on the bench. Not falling just yet, he held his arms out in order to keep his balance. He put his right foot forward, then his left. Color returned to his cheeks, as did a small smile, as he kept going.

He managed to make his way over to where Loki stood without dying. Reaching the edge of the rink, he beamed.

“There!”

Loki tipped his head.

“Well done,” he said, “but let’s see how well you do on the ice.”

Will’s proud expression faltered.

“Don’t worry, I’ll show you how it’s done,” said Loki.

Loki faced the rink then pushed forward.

It had been ages since he had last done this, but not once did Loki doubt his skill as he skated around the rink once, twice. The ice felt so natural under him. Smooth and cold and… how Loki loathed the implications that lay underneath it all. He pushed thoughts of Jotunheim aside and turned, skating backward, catching Will’s gaping expression. Loki smirked and swerved a figure eight, and then made another round.

Loki slowed down and came to a stop in front of where Will stood at the opening of the barrier.

“Well, that’s just not fair,” said Will, looking dazed. “You’re amazing at this!”

“I’m over a thousand years old. I’ve had time to practice,” Loki replied with a smug wink.

“Uh-huh…”

Loki held out a hand.

“Your turn,” he said.

Will glanced frantically between Loki’s hand and his face. He forced a smile and slipped his hand into Loki’s.

Loki smirked a little too mischievously to mean anything good and before Will could even register it, Loki snatched up his other hand and skated backward, pulling Will onto the ice.

Will yelped and he squeezed Loki’s hands so tight, any mortal would complain; however, Loki was barely aware of it as he continued to move along the ice.

“Loki, you fucking jerk!” Will squeaked.

The only remaining mother with her child at the rink shot him a dirty look, but Will hadn’t noticed.

Loki continued to smirk like the fucking jerk he was, but he held Will in a firm grip and guided him forward.

“Perhaps, but do you want to learn or not?”

Will nodded vigorously.

“Good. Now move your right foot forward, but don’t raise it. Let it glide. Yes, now the left.”

Will did as he was told. They were moving at a snail’s pace, but they were moving. Will seemed to relax a bit more by the time they reached halfway around the rink.

“Now move a bit faster,” Loki instructed.

“Don’t let go,” said Will.

“I won’t. Just keep moving.”

Will sped up slightly and Loki accommodated.

As they reached their starting point, Will was smiling again.

“Hey, I didn’t fall once,” he said.

“That was just basics. Let’s try that again, only this time do it without using me as a crutch.”

That was the only warning Loki gave before releasing Will’s hands. Eyes wide, Will grasped at empty air.

“No, no! Not yet!” Will stopped moving his legs, but he continued to slide forward. Loki kept a decent distance between them. He pursed his lips.

“Keep moving.”

Will gave a slight nod and skated forward, one foot at a time. Loki skated forward a bit, then went around the rink at a speed not meant for amateurs. He watched Will as he circled.

“Stop looking at your feet!”

But Will couldn’t stop. His feet were going too fast.

“I-I want to slow _down_ ,” stammered Will, panic tightening his voice.

“Grab hold of the barrier.”

“I can’t, it’s too far.”

“Maneuver closer.”

“I can’t!”

Loki shook his head slightly and skated a bit faster to catch up. Will’s technique had no elegance to it; he was just moving forward and was likely about to hit a barrier if he didn’t turn soon. Will caught the movement of Loki blowing right by him so there was still distance between them. A good few feet ahead, Loki took a sharp turn so that he faced the oncoming disaster that was Will.

While he had been distracted by Loki’s graceful skating, Will had sped up and was no longer paying much attention to his own movements. By the time Loki was facing him, Will was only a couple feet away from him.

With no time to react properly, Will slid onward and collided right into Loki.

A nearby skating couple exclaimed surprised “Oh”s, while others who had noticed merely winced empathetically; one guy with weed leaves on his hat blurted out an obnoxious laugh.

Loki laid on his back with Will on top of him. Will groaned and looked down at Loki.

“I’m sorry. You okay?” he asked.

A clear vein was bulging slightly from Loki’s forehead and his face was twisted into a scowl.

“Get _off_ me,” he growled, his voice low and dangerous. Will scrambled to do so, grimacing as his rump landed hard on the cold ice.

Will stumbled over another apology, but Loki was too busy seething to listen.

 _This whole thing was a horrendous, humiliating idea_ , Loki decided as he got to his feet. _Should have left this fool at the bar. Some insignificant idiot just_ laughed _at me! I’m supposed to be the Ruler of the Nine Realms and here I am wasting my time teaching a pathetic fool how to ice skate!_

Loki silently watched Will crawl to the barrier and attempt to pull himself up. He slid around, trying to get his feet under himself.

_What the hel am I doing here?_

After a moment Will had successfully gotten to his feet and was able to face Loki again. His face was still apologetic, but he held his head high, ready for more.

Will’s nose and cheeks were red from the cold, but his eyes shone not in tears of the hurt lover, but in fervor and determination.

Yes, he was a fool, but a dedicated fool, Loki gave him that. He exhaled in resignation; he was stuck with this dedicated fool for the night, might as well see it through.

“Alright,” he said, sliding closer to Will so that he was by his side. Will smiled and took Loki’s offered hand.

Loki took off, albeit not as quickly as before so Will could get the hang of it again. Will moved with him, skating by his side. Loki would occasionally give instruction: “Bend your knees,” “Turn your skates inward,” “Watch what I’m doing,” “Now slow down.”

“Don’t look at your feet,” was a common one.

Will would nod and try to keep pace with him as he absorbed everything he could.

More than once Will would slip and nearly take Loki with him. Except now Loki stayed by Will’s side and watched for the signs when they going to fall.

Once in awhile, Will seemed in a daze when they would turn corners; he would gaze at Loki and it would seem like he forgot he was skating. Loki would find the staring irritating if not for the fact that Will looked so attractive when doing so. Not to mention Loki rather enjoyed the attention.

“Don’t forget to focus,” Loki said, bringing Will back to reality. Will would obey and turn his attention back to what they were doing.

Will’s hand was warm in his. Despite the fact his fingers were tightening around Loki’s in an attempt to keep from falling again, the touch was… different. Desperate, but not unpleasantly so, as if holding Loki’s hand was more of an option he preferred than a crutch he needed. Loki curled his fingers around Will’s soft, warm hand as he pushed down any further thought on the matter.

They continued around the rink several times. On their fifth time around, Loki moved closer and said, “I’m going to let you go now. You’re ready.”

Will nodded, smiling as Loki moved further and further until he finally let go of Will’s hand.

“Oh,” Will gasped, but he continued forward. With a grin, he skated a bit faster on his own.

Loki slowed down and watched him go around the rink. Will was aglow with joy as he skated by his fellow skaters without hitting a single one. He looked back at Loki with a wide smile that reached his eyes.

 _Wherever you are, Anna,_ thought Loki, _you’re missing out on something special with this one_.

Will was skating toward him again, this time he was slowing down, but only slightly. Loki’s brow furrowed. Surely he isn’t expecting…?

Except Will _was_ barreling towards him; at least this time Loki was prepared.

For the second time that night, Will rammed right into Loki. This time, however, he managed to wrap an arm around Loki’s middle, while Loki stood his ground and took the full force as he stuck out a skate. Instead of falling again, they spun out, the momentum throwing them so they skated in circles as they held onto each other.

Will laughed full-heartily; Loki, too, found himself laughing harder than he had in years. It felt good. Really good. He wanted to remark on how foolish that move was, but he couldn’t stop _laughing_.

At last, they slowly came to a stop in the middle of the rink, but continued to hold onto each other. Their faces were centimeters apart and as their laughter died down, it gradually dawned on them how close they were. Will’s blue eyes widened at the sudden intimacy. Loki could feel his hot breath on his face, the brief but notable touch of Will’s beard tickling at his chin.

This was… this wasn’t… Panic rose in the back of Loki’s throat as the reality of the situation hit him like a mace.

Will was _different_. Will did not see Loki as anything other than who Loki was. Will was kind and never asked anything of Loki other to be by his side for the night. There was no deception, no tricks, no threats of calling Thor or the Avengers. He hadn’t even brought up Loki’s past sins on this world. He should, but he didn’t. As if doing so would ruin whatever their time together was. What _was_ this? It would be boring if it in itself wasn’t so unknown and exciting.

Loki liked him. That was it. Loki liked a mortal. Will is so pathetic and tragic and… beautiful. And unpredictably roguish. That was quite a stunt just then. Not many mortals can make Loki laugh like _that_. And most of all, Will enjoyed Loki’s company. There were no favors between them, just a strange friendship. Friendship and perhaps… Yes, Loki _liked_ him, and Will… No. This was too much.

Loki averted his gaze and released his hold on Will, pushing him back slightly as he made to turn and skate away.

“L-Loki I- wait!” Will wobbled on the ice and groped for Loki’s shoulder, but his fingers only met air as Loki made quick work of putting space between them.

When Loki reached the opening of the rink, he finally turned around just in time to watch Will drop face-down onto the ice. Loki flinched at the sight, but stayed at the barrier. Will had luckily managed to put his hands out in front of him to break the fall, but it probably only saved him from a broken nose. Some spared glances at him as he lay there on his stomach, legs splayed out. A couple skated by him, giggling to themselves.

Will raised his head and looked over at Loki, his brow furrowed in confusion.

 _I should leave_ , Loki thought as he watched Will manage to get to his knees, before slipping again and stilling his body to prevent any further damage.

Will locked eyes with him again and reached out a hand.

“Help?” he said with a weak smile.

This could be dangerous. Whatever this was. This friendship with this mortal, it could only lead to trouble. Who was this Will anyway? Nobody. Just a naive mortal who needed constant companionship and attention. Loki didn’t particularly like to analyze himself, but he could relate to the latter. Maybe this could be a good thing. Thor got Jane. Maybe Loki could get his own pet mortal…

Loki pushed himself off the barrier and made his way back over to Will.

Will wasn’t a pet. He could be, but Loki couldn’t see him that way. How odd. He knew the man for only a couple hours and yet he cared for him… he really liked him. Friendship wasn’t something he neither sought for nor was it given to him easily.

He held out a hand. A smile on Will’s face widened as he took it.

Perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad to give it a try for the sake of the holiday.

Loki hoisted Will to his feet.

“I thought you were going to leave me there,” said Will.

“I was,” Loki replied.

“Oh,” the confused expression returned to Will’s face. “What made you change your mind?”

Loki narrowed his eyes as he paused for a moment.

“Do you truly wish to spend your Christmas Eve with me?” he said. “I am the same Loki that was worshipped by your ancestors, the same who brought war down upon your world, this very city. And yet, knowing all this, you still seek my companionship. Why?”

Will opened his mouth to answer, but was interrupted by the weed hat skater who sneered as he passed by them, “Hey assholes, either skate or get off the ice!”

Loki turned his head to identify the jerk, who was laughing as he pushed past a young teenage couple, nearly knocking them over. Loki sharply cocked his head; Will watched as the rude skater slipped and fell onto his ass. A few onlookers behind the barrier laughed at his misfortune.

“Did you do that?” asked Will. Loki turned to him again.

“You didn’t answer _my_ question,” Loki persisted.

Will pursed his lips in thought, as if searching for the right words.

“I don’t know,” he finally said. “Maybe it is stupid of me, but I enjoy your company.”

“Yes, it is incredibly stupid.”

“But… I don’t feel like I have to pretend in front of you. When I was with Anna, sure, we were honest with each other, but there came a point where I felt like I wasn’t enough and I couldn’t talk about that with her. I would try, but I always sounded jealous or maybe I was, I don’t know. By the end of it, maybe it was for the best that she left me.” Will shrugged. “I know we barely know each other, but I don’t feel like I have to try. I was already at my lowest point back at the bar. There was nowhere to go but up with you.”

Loki stood there, speechless. No quips, no snide comment. What could he possibly say to that?

Will flashed him a warm smile.

“Wanna grab some hot chocolate or go inside or something? I’m fucking freezing,” he said with a cheeky grin.

Loki felt his cheeks grow warm and he nodded.

Will moved to skate off first… and promptly fell onto his back.


	4. The House

Will was sure that he was going to wake up covered in bruises tomorrow, but he didn’t regret any of it. Loki had suggested he make new memories skating in the park, and he had, and no sad feelings regarding Anna could ever take that away.

To say tonight had been strange would be an understatement, but Will was glad for all of it. He still felt bad about yelling at Reece earlier, but he decided that he’d call him tomorrow and apologize; maybe come around if Reece wanted him to.

Spending one’s Christmas Eve with the god of mischief had been anything but awful. It was nearly midnight and Will felt exhausted, but he wasn’t quite ready to part ways with his new friend.

The house wasn’t too far from Central Park, so they walked. Loki spoke of Asgard, of its beauty. He spoke of how he had faked his death (with a worryingly odd amount of enthusiasm) and would very much appreciate if Will didn’t say anything to Thor. Will had laughed at that and swore on his life that his secret was safe.

Odd, that’s definitely what Loki was. Will had never expected to meet the man behind the Incident from a few years back. He and Anna had been out of town on vacation that day and hadn’t heard of what happened until about an hour after it was over.

Anna had made some comment about how unbelievable it all was. Several years later, Will walked side by side with the most unbelievable thing that could have possibly happened to him.

There was much more to Loki than he could have imagined and he had only just scratched the surface in a few hours. He had seen a glimpse of maybe a darker side of Loki when he had first crashed into Loki when on the ice, but he hadn’t murdered Will, so that was something.

He seemed genuinely interested as Will told him of his carpentry business. Somewhere along the line, the subject turned back to Anna as Will described the house that he now lived in, alone.

“I built that house with my own two hands. Painted and made everything perfect in every way that she would love.”

“And did she?”

“She never went inside. She said if she went in, she might never want to leave. That’s when we knew; it was all for nothing.” Will shoved his hands in his pockets and frowned. “How do you love someone for so long and…” He trailed off with a sigh.

“Do you blame her?”

“No. I would rather her find happiness elsewhere then subscribe to an unhappy life just because it was what she thought she had to do.”

“Then you must truly love her.”

Loki looked off into the distance, that look in his eyes again.

“Did you ever love someone like that?” Will asked.

Loki’s jaw clenched and his body visibly tensed.

“I-I’m sorry-”

“It’s fine,” Loki interrupted. “It was years ago. Over time I’ve learned to prefer not to talk about it than to face the pain of it.”

“Was it that bad?”

“My affections for her or how it all ended?”

“Both.”

Loki idly scratched at the palm of his hand as they walked on, his mind far away. Will didn’t press the matter and they continued in silence.

 

Even now, a week later, every time Will would look upon the house, misery would make a home in the pit of his stomach as if Anna had just broken up with him all over again. He paused at the foot of the stairs and looked up at the door. From the outside, it looked as any other home on the block did, although the door and its frame were well-sanded and freshly painted.

“Is this it?” Loki asked.

“Yeah. This was going to be Anna’s house. Our house. Now I don’t know what to do with it,” Will said with a sigh.

“Could always sell it,” Loki suggested.

“That’s what Reece said I should do. It somehow feels wrong though. Staying in it by myself feels wrong, selling it feels wrong. It’s just a wrong house.”

They stood there a moment, until Will shifted uncomfortably and grumbled, “It’ll be warmer in there, let’s go.”

Loki gave a polite smile and followed him up the stairs.

Will shoved the key in the lock a little more aggressively than was needed and swung the door open. He raised a hand and gestured for Loki to go in first. He watched as Loki stepped inside and look around.

The house was still pretty bare. The only actual furniture in the house was the bed upstairs. Will had spending most of his days in the house eating and sitting on the floor. The only other major piece in the house was the large beautifully ornate Christmas tree that stood in the front window.

“Not one for interior decorating, are you?” said Loki.

“I only moved in a week ago.”

Loki eyed him.

“Aren’t you coming in?” he asked.

Will swayed slightly in the cold as he hovered just outside the door.

“I don’t know if I should…” Will’s train of thought slipped out of his grasp; he scowled, is heartbreak festering inside him again.

Loki took a step forward and placed a hand on Will’s shoulder.

“It’s _your_ house, Will,” he said. “Not hers. You can invite whoever you like and enjoy the company of your guests without her. She gave up any right to say who comes and goes here the moment she gave you up. Now come inside before you freeze to death.”

Will blinked. How the hell could he have met someone like Loki at this point in his life? Will had thought he’d given up on things like ‘destiny’ when The One ended up not being that. Maybe…

Will followed Loki inside and closed the door behind him. He rubbed his hands together, allowing the blood to rush back.

“One moment,” Will said, dashing over to the Christmas tree and fumbled for the plug. In an instant, the dark, vacant living room came to life in light.

Loki smiled, admiring it along with rest of the house, now that he could have a better look.

“It’s beautiful,” he commented.

Will felt his cheeks grow warm again.

“Really?”

“The architecture is fantastic. Simple, but rather splendid. Well done.”

 _He likes it! He likes it!_ Will felt like an excited child as he bit the inside of his cheek to keep from grinning like an idiot.

Loki strode closer to the unlit fireplace further back in the house. Will followed him, eagerly hoping for further approval. Loki ran his hand along the mantel, admiring the marble olive branch design.

“Beautiful,” he said again.

“Anna and I struggled over that. She wanted something more simple…”

“Good thing you won that argument, then. It would have made the rest of the room rather dull.”

“Thank you! That’s what I said.” Will grinned.

Loki stared into the fireplace, that faraway look in his eyes making its return. Will swallowed. If he asked now, it might drive Loki away. It was risk, but he had to know.

“Tell me about her,” he said.

Loki blinked, backing out of his own memories to look over at Will, who stood there awkwardly and hopeful he could finally take a look behind that well-built wall.

“Her name was Sigyn,” Loki said at last. “She was my only true friend as a child. As we grew into maturity, I developed feelings for her. I thought she returned them, but it was only a passing affection for her. She died in battle at a young age. Never was one for fighting; was always much more of a caregiver than a warrior, but she always felt she had something to prove.”

And just like that, the door was shut again.

Will observed Loki’s shifting posture, the way he furrowed his brow. He wondered when Loki last talked about Sigyn. He didn’t dare push the subject any further, though he could tell there was much more to that story that Loki wasn’t ready to talk about just yet. Yet.

It was a comfort that Loki did not leave. He hadn’t been offended that Will had had the audacity to ask, but he wasn’t any cheerier for it. In fact, he seemed more melancholy now than he had been all night.

“Are you okay, Loki?” Will asked.

Loki blinked several times and locked eyes with him.

“You said you felt like you didn’t have to pretend in front of me,” he said.

 “Yeah.” Will nodded.

“Well, I must admit… the feeling is mutual. I’ve been spending the past two years masquerading as my father so I may rule Asgard, for my brother does not want the throne and I could never rule as myself. I hadn’t spoken to anyone as myself in two years. Not properly, at least. You asked earlier why I was spending Christmas Eve on Earth. The holiday was merely a coincidence. I came to Earth so I may have some time to be myself without worry of hiding or of revealing my charade. There wasn’t a plan. Then _you_ sat down and wouldn’t stop talking to me.” Loki chuckled lightly. “I suppose I enjoyed the idea of being myself around someone without paranoia of consequence.”

A smile spread across Will’s face. He took a step closer.

“Thanks for taking a chance on an annoying mortal such as myself.”

“You’re not so annoying when you’re sober.”

“I bet you’re _unbearable_ when you’re good and proper drunk,” Will teased.

“Perhaps someday I’ll show you,” Loki returned.

“Is that a promise?”

“It’s whatever you want it to be.”

“I want… I would like to kiss you.” Will swallowed thickly. Oops. He hadn’t meant to say that out loud. Or think it. Was he still drunk? He didn’t feel drunk.

Loki’s lips curved into that mischievous smile.

“Go ahead,” he said.

Oh, okay.

The logical part of Will’s brain told him this was a bad idea. This was _Loki_ , god of mischief and bad guy who tried to take over the world with an alien army.

But it was also the same Loki who bought him coffee and let Will drunkenly cry on his shoulder and taught him how to ice skate… Couldn’t he be both? Someone dangerous, but also someone who craved affection like anybody else?

 _Yes, this is stupid_ , Will told his logical self, _but since when have I ever made a smart decision,_ especially _tonight? Screw it! It’s fucking Christmas._

Will leaned in and nearly gasped when Loki met him halfway. Loki kissed him like a man starved; he was all lips and tongue, and it felt amazing. Will moaned at the feel of the warmth of Loki’s tongue against his own.

 _Different different._ He liked this different more than any other different he had known. He buried a hand in Loki’s dark hair and rested the other on his hip. Yes, this was good and warm and satisfying.

Not too far off, the local church bells rang out, signaling the arrival of Christmas Day.


	5. The New Beginning

Will and Anna’s house was -for the most part- empty.

Will’s house. Not Anna’s. Anna was no longer in the picture. What poor timing for a breakup. But Loki knew why. This unexpected evening was proving to be quite insightful.

Loki sat in front of the unlit fireplace, waiting for Will to return. He had practically leapt out of the room with a quick, “Hold on! I’ll be right back.” So Loki sat cross-legged on the bare living room floor. He nonchalantly looked over at the beautiful Christmas tree.

This wasn’t how he had expected his night to go. He had expected the most that could happen was that he’d run into Thor or one of his Earth friends. Instead, Loki had made a Midgardian friend of his own. One that he’d grown foolishly fond of over the past several hours.

He nibbled at his lower lip to keep from smiling. He didn’t deserve to be so happy over something that would fade by morning. It was useless actually. Why become so invested?

Except, what if it didn’t fade by the morning’s light? What if this fondness carried on long past the night?

“Hot chocolate coming your way,” came Will’s voice echoing in the empty house. Loki turned to find him walking toward him with a mug in each hand and an oversized blanket hanging from his shoulders, the tail of it dragging on the floor behind him.

He handed Loki one of the mugs and set the other on the floor beside them.

Both Will and Loki had dressed down, removed their coats and shoes. Loki even removed his tie, jacket, and undone the top two buttons on his shirt. Will was dressed in basic jeans and a sweater. It was a good look for him.

Loki watched him set fresh logs down and light them up with a match. Pleased with his work, Will sat back and grabbed an end of the blanket and held it open.

On any other day, Loki would probably refuse, but tonight he’d humor his new friend. He slid closer, allowing for Will to place the edge of the blanket around Loki’s shoulders.

They sat there, their bodies pressed close to each other under the blanket, sipping their cocoa.

Somewhere along the line, when their mugs had emptied, Will had moved closer. For the second time that night, he rested his head on Loki’s shoulder. That’s as far as Loki would allow though; he had pulled his hand away when Will had tried to hold it.

“Don’t push your luck. Give it time,” he had said grumpily. Will didn’t press it, for he was enjoying Loki’s shoulder well enough to keep him happy.

“Loki?”

“Hm?”

“When Christmas is over, can I see you again?”

“It would probably be best if you didn’t,” said Loki.

“Oh, right.”

Loki frowned.

“However…” he started, pausing for emphasis, “I’m not known for my predictability. Perhaps I will visit on occasion.”

Will pulled back, a smile spread across his face.

Loki admired that face for a moment. How handsome Will was… There was so much more life there when he wasn’t wallowing in his lost love. Maybe this would be too soon for him… Or maybe moving on quickly was exactly what he needed. Loki could live with that.

He flashed a wolfish grin and pounced on Will, planting a fervent kiss on his lips. Will laughed against his mouth and wrapped his arms around Loki’s neck, holding him close.

If this did fade out, then Loki would enjoy it while it lasted and not mourn when it was over. Then again, he had grown rather fond of the idea of Will being there in his future.


End file.
